Roger and I just returned from a vacation trip to Albuquerque. As is my habit, I made sure we had an audio book for the trip. I selected “The Bourne Legacy” by Eric Lustbader. My reason for selecting this book was that Roger and I both enjoy the Bourne movies. Roger probably enjoys all the action. I enjoy watching hunky Matt Damon. The book had 14 CDs so it would last us the whole trip. Before we started driving, I thought this was a good thing. After about the fourth CD I had second thoughts.
Lustbader is now writing the Robert Ludlum “Bourne” novels, and “The Bourne Legacy” was the first in the series by Lustbader. This book has enough of torture, fistfights, guns, and blood to satisfy the most diehard Bourne fan. Jason Bourne a.k.a. David Webb is now a Georgetown professor of linguistics. A mysterious assassin, named Khan, has targeted him. When Bourne seeks the assistance of his old CIA handler Alex Conklin, Jason discovers Conklin and an associate murdered. It’s a setup. Bourne is declared the prime suspect, and he sets off on a worldwide hunt to find the real killer. Along the way Jason Bourne escapes from numerous deathly traps that would kill a normal human being and suffers injuries that should put him in long-term hospital care. All of this murder and mayhem ends up in Reykjavik, Iceland during a summit on terrorism where all the various plot threads come together.
Now, I have nothing against espionage thrillers. In fact, I enjoy them a great deal. What finally got on my nerves while listening to this book was the repetitious and continuous improbable/impossible escapes from traps and murderous foes. Honestly this novel just careens from one catastrophe to another for poor Jason. I know that is the point of the Bourne series, but it did get tedious as we listened to disk after disk of this. Also, Lustbader’s prose is cliché-driven, which also drove me nuts. Example, “Khan felt as if his brain was about to explode. He was shaken to his very foundation.” Just try listening to fourteen CDs of this stuff.
We drove through hail, snow and ice on a few stretches of the trip. Thank goodness, I did not become too involved in the book. I was still able to offer Roger plenty of driving advice. During one nerve-wrecking stretch I almost shut off the blood to one thumb as I squeezed it. When I started to make unusual sounds like oh, huh and eeeeeek, Roger asked me if I was helping him drive. “Yes,” I said, “and it would be a good idea to shut off the cruise control.” He replied in a slightly louder voice, “It is off.” I responded in my calm and controlled fashion, “THEN SLOW DOWN!” Shortly after that exchange, we were crawling along as wreckers pulled cars out of ditches, and I was a much happier camper.
I learned two important lessons from this trip. First, never select a 14 CD book for a long trip. Take several shorter ones in case the book gets on your nerves. Second, helping Roger drive on bad roads is an important part of my wifely duties.
Thank you, Harriett Aden and Toby Wolfe for assisting me with this column that past few weeks.
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