This isn’t the column that I had planned to write this week. We learned Sunday afternoon about an automobile accident that killed two young people who grew up and went to school with our kids. Several years ago, a similar accident killed two young men from the same community—one who was my son-in-law’s brother. Most of this week I felt I was living in a fog. Death is hard, but the death of young people is particularly difficult. The sorrow is deeper. One can’t help but think of the lives that might have been, of the young children left without parents, and of the deep sorrow of those left behind.

My thoughts turned to the grieving process and how to work through the pain. When my mother died, a friend gave me a small book about grief. It helped me understand this process, called grief. Grief has no time limit, but time does lessen the pain. A book about grief helped me work through my grief. Perhaps one of the following books with help others who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

"The Year of Magical Thinking" is Joan Didion’s memoir about the year, which followed her husband’s death. It is currently a bestseller. John Gregory Dunne died of a massive heart attack while their only child lay in the hospital critically ill. (She has also since died.) Reviewers describe "The Year of Magical Thinking" as an unsparingly honest look at grief.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a groundbreaking author, who wrote about death and loss. She was the first to identify the five stages of death in her first book, "On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have To Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy, and Their Own Families". She then applied those stages to grief in her final book, "On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss". Those five stages are denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Rabbi Harold Kushner ‘s son Aaron died of a premature aging disease. Inspired by his son’s death, Kushner wrote, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". He says he wrote the book "for all those people who wanted to go on believing, but whose anger at God made it hard for them to hold on to their faith and be comforted by religion." The Book of the Month Club designated it one of the ten most influential books of all time.

I thought I would list all the books the library has on death and grieving, but there are too many to list. Here are just a few.

"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.

"No Time for Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger and Injustice After a Tragic Death" by Janice Harris Lord.

"Teenagers Face to Face with Bereavement" by Karen Gravelle & Charles Haskins.

"I don’t Know What to Say…: How to Help and Support Someone Who is Dying" by Dr. Robert Buckman.

"The Orphaned Adult: Confronting the Death of a Parent" by Marc D. Angel.

"Coping With Sorrow On the Loss of Your Pet" by Moira Anderson, M.Ed.

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